The Betches Podcast Breakdown
Why talk sh*! when you can just listen?
By Taylor Steiner
Betches are always there for you. They are there for all the times you want to talk sh*! but have no one to gossip with, or when you just want a rundown of the Bachelorette because let's be honest Becca choosing between Blake and Garrett wasn’t worth staying up past your 10 p.m bedtime for. Even the times when times when you want to be politically aware but are really just cramming for your next current events quiz, Betches has a podcast for you!
Since we do enough reading from the countless textbook pages that we are assigned, but mostly the lengthy screenshots you recieve from your BFF about their daily drama, why don’t you take the time to relax and listen to a podcast? Here is a rundown of all the Betches podcasts that you should start tuning into.
Betch Slapped: This is the OG Podcast staring Betches founders Samantha Fishbein, Jordana Abraham, and Aleen Kuperman. The three girls who started Betches in their Cornell dorm room in 2011 transitioned to podcasts in 2016. While you may not be as successful in creating a multimillion dollar company in your dorm room, you can still listen to these girls like they live down the hall. Theses Betches instantly become your best friends, covering all the topics from how-to’s to advice with their “Dear Betch” section where they take questions from listeners. They never miss a recap of all the latest reality TV drama, including Vanderpump Rules, The Kardashians and The Bachelorette (which they just recently added a separate podcast for called “Betchlorette”). And they always end the podcast with a game like ‘red flag or deal breaker’ or ‘f#@k, marry, kill.’
U Up: Don’t you love going out on a Thursday, looking like your best self and maybe looking for that one guy you’ve been waiting to see all week? Then just as you get home, take off your makeup, and set an alarm for your Friday afternoon lab, you finally receive that “U Up?” text from the boy you wanted to see all night. So what do you do? Jared and Jordana answer all your relationship and hookup questions in their co-hosted podcast ‘U Up.’ This podcast deep dives into listeners questions about their significant others, co-workers, ex’s and anyone in between while providing point of views from a male and female perspective. Going off their own life experiences, J and J become your therapist, your parents and the friends that sit you down at brunch and tell you all the things you don’t want to hear but know are true. All while struggling to figure out these things themselves because, let’s be honest, does anyone really know what they are doing?
The Diet Starts Tomorrow: Isn’t this what we tell ourselves every day? From the calories that “don’t count” when your drunk, sad, stressed, or happy...okay well maybe all the time. We can always find an excuse to reward ourselves with some fro-yo or Insomnia cookies to make us feel better! Unfortunately, at some point we figure out those calories do count (ugh in what messed up world they made this happen?!?), but Sami and Aleen understand the everyday struggles of balanced eating and binge drinking, body image and self-confidence, and being too lazy to go to the gym even though you swore you were gonna make it there today and much more. They are real girls with real problems and are here to let you know that no one is the wellness guru that they claim to be on Instagram. They have guests ranging from influencers to nutritionists to phycologists; all to help acknowledge not only the physical but mental and emotional journey of weight loss and body positivity. Listen to this podcast to find the best way to have your cake and eat it too.
The Betches Sup: Politics may not be the talk of your pregame, not because they aren’t important, but because Big Bootie mix 14 came out and that is I M P O R T A N T. But seriously, there are things that happen every day that affect us, and we don’t even know about it! We live in a bubble in college where the most pressing news is that the DJ’s cover was only $10 instead of $20. But how about tuning into to listen to the SUP where news editor and comedian Alise Morales teams up with Sami Fishbein and Bryan Smith to give a weekly rundown about WTF happened in politics this week. Think a lot less lecturing, more gossiping about the people who run the country. The best part is that it’s funny and the episodes are only twenty minutes long.
Not Another True Crime Podcast: “In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are”....Sara Levine and Hannah Perkins! *Dun-Duh* These two betches cover all the true crime mysteries you didn’t know you needed in your life. Topics include conspiracy theories, cults and crime occasionally adding in their own personal beliefs; like do ghosts really exist? Will aliens invade our planet? Will I really get married if I kiss someone on the bench outside of Hall of Languages? Well, somethings are a mystery and may always been but start listening “Not Just Another True Crime” on Betches and maybe find out there’s another true crime than wearing any other color than black when you go out.